Usually I trial at Flexi all summer in CPE. Things...just weren't that way this year. But my friend asked if I wanted to enter with her and play some CPE so I entered Ein in three runs. I am not sure what possessed me (how many times do I say that!?) but I entered Perri in three runs as well. Fullhouse, Jackpot, Wildcard.
And last night I was feeling so very optimistic. So very...relaxed. By chance we had a substitute instructor in Molly's agility class earlier this week, and Perri was my substitute dog. And special attention was given to Perri's start line. It's been a sit stay, she gets stuck. A stand stay, also gets stuck but more ideal. Running off the start was great until it wasn't. Then there was high fives and downs which pleased her for a while. We both agreed Perri needs a very specific and clear start line routine. We decided on trying to sit her between my legs while I remove the collar. We are connected, she is squished and safe.
This all could not have come at a better time, when I had a trial planned for Perri that weekend. I also wanted to smile at Perri when I led out away from her on the SL but I forgot. How could I forget that?!
We ran Fullhouse first and it was beautiful. I was floored! Perri's first Q of 2018.
Jackpot was next and Perri got mildly stuck on her start line but released fairly quickly. She ran just as happy and confident as she did in Fullhouse! My phone malfunctioned and did not start recording so we sadly missed that one. Got Ein's though!
It was a long wait until Wildcard (for both dogs.) We did a big long loop walk with our friends, and Zorro got to play with the border collie puppy Josey Wales and they both got to explore. I found a big metal stop sign nailed into the gazebo, that's new! Once upon a time I took Molly's first C-ATCH photo in that gazebo.
Wildcard was next and Perri got pretty stuck on the start line. I actually switched handling sides and got real silly to get her to break. I thought for sure she would get funny during the run but she did not. She ran nicely. I timed a front cross well and handled her well and I loved that. She needs that so much! She also weaved although I was doing the clap and chant "do every one!" and put so much effort into it I got momentarily disoriented. Anyway, Perri finally got another Wildcard Q 2/5 needed. Yeah!
I could not be more happy with Perri's progress! Facebook memories tells me that at this trial a year ago, Perri had a similarly awesome day. It deflated me a little because...things did not go to well from that point onward last year. But I reminded myself that a lot has changed. I have spent this year in full support of Perri. Very minimal trialing with no titling goals. Confidence building only. And my mind set has changed drastically. We have Zorro now. This is so good for both Perri and I. She loves having that little guy running around at her heels, playing with her and looking up to her. And I love having a pup who enjoys hiking, training and who I can dream big for. Perri and I are in a different place than we were last year and today felt different. It didn't feel like a test as it did last year. It just felt like, "let's see what happens and if this isn't good for you, that's ok."
It has been real...wintery around here! Winter is my least favorite season and unlike least year, we seem to be having a real winter. Steady cold, precipitation regularly coating the ground up. At least we have not had any blizzards!
I made a big decision this year to commit to weekly training with my agility club for the duration of 2018. It was a large financial and time commitment for me but I am very excited about it. Molly and I will have regular access to consistent training. I was terrified of any number of health issues coming up, between the lymphoma, GI issues and lameness...anything could happen. But still, I wanted to enjoy what training I could with my girl! Here is a clip of us enjoying a tunnel-tastic course.
We had a lovely two weeks. And with Molly in a regular training class, it gave me access to an agility ring to work with Perri. We worked on ring entrances when I could, with a lot of success. I am giving a whole lot of thought once again to the impact that the equipment has on Perri. Last year I noticed a marked difference in her attitude when we moved away from the martingale collar-over-the-head-situation. We are working hard on the slip lead removal being no big deal. We are working on her feelings about the slip lead being dropped on the ground. These are things that matter to Perri and I cannot take them lightly.
I have also incorporated a "snuffle mat" into our routine, Perri is a complete addict! We do a ring entrance and ring exit and straight to the snuffle mat. I also let her use her snuffle mat before we go into the ring. The snuffle mat keeps her from bugging out about the environment and it relaxes her to enjoy rooting and sniffing while we are waiting for our turn in the ring. I think the snuffle mat is going to be extremely valuable, as instead of me asking for tricks and giving Perri food and doing "busy work", she is able to sniff her snuffle mat and engage in an instinctually relaxing activity. We will see how it goes! (I ordered our snuffle mat from Rooting Co on Etsy.com.)
Since my bad luck has decided to not stay confined to 2017, Molly went lame after one powerhouse run in our UKI agility trial last Sunday. We scratched the rest of the day and went home early. We ran at the same place we did when she went lame on New Year's Eve, so we are definitely not going to be running there again. The plan at this time is strict rest for two weeks. When I look back to February of last year, we got to enjoy our "one last hurrah!" trial at Dream Park and the very next day Molly went in for her lymph node removal/biopsy surgery. At that time I did not know if it would be her last trial. And it is the same this year. Molly is entered in a trial at Dream Park on the 18th. I have scheduled a consult at VOSM for Molly on February 19th. Once again, nearly one year later, Molly will enjoy what could very well be her last agility trial ever and we will go for this orthopedic consult and find out what the true issue is with her foot. She was very tender in her medial wrist and not at all in her toe, which is something I just noticed this time. All of the times she has gone lame I have never felt she had any pain response in her wrist. It is time to confront exactly what is going on, and make hard decisions. This sucks.
I took this video when we returned home from the agility trial. It is sad for me to watch but I wanted to have a video, since Molly is not likely to be acutely lame when we see the ortho for her appointment. I notice not just the limping but Molly is pulling her left foot medially instead of having any forward reach (as she does with her right foot.)
I get a chance, in this new year, to not resent Perri for being my only sound agility dog. I get a second chance. We had this exact chance last year and I failed miserably. This past Monday we went to our agility class piled high with liverwurst, the snuffle mat, tiny tiny toys I knew she would like and three bags of other treats. I am a poodle slave. But most of all, I let myself feel excited about the opportunity rather than resentful of "Plan B". Rather than "You're all I've got so let's try to do this."
We had a first run where Perri was fast and full of drive which made me happy enough! but where I got scolded for losing connection multiple times. It was an honest assessment. A lightbulb went off in my head. Perhaps my way of running and losing connection with Perri is also causing a stress increase for her. I focus so much on keeping her motivated and happy it is hard to devote my mind to anything else. I foolishly asked my instructor to help me handle Perri in a way that would maintain a tighter connection. I got my ass beat, I was required to walk the course again and again, I was told I could not use my hands so that I would pay attention to what the rest of my body was doing - it helped a lot. I felt like a circus poodle. And it worked. I could tell Perri felt flatter for that second run but something about what I was doing appealed to her and that girl dug in there and ran with me and responded to what our slave drivin' instructor was making me do. I drove home giddy with joy. Me and my poodle worked on a thing and made progress with that thing. Learning and doing together.
And that is about all for this catch up post, but I have one more thing. This morning Perri went out into the yard and stood on the porch and started her hypervigilance scanning. It did not last long. She flutter wagged her tail and snapped out of it, and she went out in the yard and peed. Like a Normal Poodle. It was adorable and it made my heart feel big. One day at at time.
Continuing on in the spirit of catching up, we will address Miss Perri's doings.
Perri has had a tough year in agility but a very encouraging year in Rally Obedience. I waited three years to enter Level 2 and Perri's confidence and enthusiasm was well worth the wait. I have always loved attending AKC Rally-o trials in December at this trial site - historically Perri had her AKC Rally Novice and Advanced debuts (and first two legs) here. It was a fitting place to try Rally Excellent after a two year hiatus from AKC Rally.
Perri was not confident in the ring. She was worried but working hard to stay with me. The run felt awful to me, especially as I had been hoping for some of the sassy rally poodle from earlier this year. It turns out that Perri scored in the high 80s, she was the only Excellent A dog to qualify. Only one Excellent B dog qualified as well, leaving Perri one of two dogs who qualified. Cool? Mostly I felt sad that Perri was worried. But grateful to her and proud of her for trying hard.
Fast forward to the next weekend .... CPE agility. We played on a Friday night that I braved a "one inch snowstorm" to get to. Perri qualified in Fullhouse. She had one staring fit in Snooker, long enough to NQ us. Saturday we took a break and Molly played USDAA (two lovely powerful runs, a hearbreaker Standard run with an Aframe fault keeping us from a Q.).
Sunday I entered Perri in Jumpers and Wildcard, two classes she "needs" towards her C-ATCH/CT-ATCH whatever I choose to pursue. She stressed in Jumpers. Not badly. Not earth shattering. But it shattered my heart. I walked the course for her Wildcard run and then promptly walked over and scratched her name from the run order. I am done with this. I am done trying to make my poor dog play this game that she has become too stressed to play. I don't know what happened. I don't know why, when or how it happened. But I have nothing left right now for Perri and Agility. It's not fair to either of us.
Why have I continued on this long? Because I remember Perri loving this game. I have watched videos of her running fast with her tail fluttering. I remember her proud and huffing after a good run and walking with pride back to her crate. This video from last winter made me cry. We had worked so hard to come back from her shoulder injury and she was finally strong and confident and even sassy in the ring. It is one of her last phenomenal runs, right before, for no reason that I can figure out, she came undone. I had lyme and anaplasmosis tests run, thyroid tests run, a full check over for physical issues. There is nothing, no explanation. Right when Molly got sick, Perri fell apart and I cannot put us back together. We took two months off, it was not long enough. I feel very lost right now. I do not want to give up on my dog but I also want to respect her. What a hard line to draw. Nothing is forever but we must retreat further than ever for now.
Molly and I got to go play some more NADAC agility yesterday. I had my day free at the last minute and I couldn't think of anything more I wanted to do than to go on an adventure with my girl to a new-to-us trial site and venue.
This time we tried a few more of the games: Chances, a numbered agility course but with a taped off section that is a distance challenge. Regular (Like "Standard" - but no teeter. NADAC does not use the teeter.) Tunnelers we of course did, and also Jumpers. Jumpers was as named: only jumps (and a tunnel.)
I had a very interesting experience with Molly yesterday. The trial was held outdoors but the ring did not have snow fencing, and that was a relief. It was held on the grounds of an animal rescue, so about a tenth of a mile away was the shelter building and dog runs. You could not see this from the ring since it was "downhill", and you certainly could not see it from the crate area. You could hear it though. The crating area was absolutely lovely, in a fenced in pine grove with a double gate and so much shade that it was truly unnecessary to bring my EZ Up along. I will know for next time.
Poodle along for emotional support. And because she hates being left at home for adventures!
What was interesting about my day with Molly was that we basically experienced, in a condensed form, a timeline of all of the environmentally-related behaviors that Molly and I have encountered and conquered over her five years as an agility dog. This could get a little nerdy and boring but I want to analyze everything pretty closely so I have a record of it for myself. We got to the trial site and she was amped up immediately despite my attempts to acclimate her slowly. What works for her usually, even at trial sites that get her the most cranked up ("Dream Park") was rolling off of her without notice. The only thing I can think of is that I could have done more short acclimation walks and returned her to the car rather than the x-pen in my crating area, but I was parked on a rather busy street and keeping the car unlocked and open was not an ideal option (to put it mildly.)
As it was, we were acclimating and returning to the x-pen, and that was not a retreat for her to soak the information about our acclimation walk. It was not relaxing. She was inconsolable in the x-pen, screeching, and all around making me want to rip her lips off! I should have brought her crate. It is more familiar in the trial setting than the x-pen, though she has been in the pen many times before (Like, oh. All last weekend during our camping trip!) I specifically chose a spot away from the other crates and tents, against the fencing, but it was not enough.
We ran Chances first. We did well walking up to the ring and even ring side for a little bit. Molly was doing tricks and taking food (I had switched to very high value food). About two or three dogs before our turn to go in, I didn't have a dog. It was like a switch flipped, with no discernible trigger other than likely stress build up. Displacement sniffing, did not want food. This is the area that is still confusing for me. Should I have gotten her away from there, gotten her back under threshold and scratched our run? Historically, Molly improves a lot after she gets into the ring and has her famous lip-flying, teeth bared zoomies. I had actually entered Chances specifically for that reason, that Molly often "needs" a run to just blow off stress. And that was exactly what she did (Because yes. Of course I went into the ring anyway). She did the first two obstacles but then took a wrong course tunnel and did some circles - if I could have had a photo of her face as she ran into that tunnel! Eye whites and teeth and lips flying! She came back and humored me taking two jumps as directed but then disconnected again and went to the ring crew and then to the side of the ring for some intense stress displacement sniffing. I called her name cheerily and asked her to do the last hoop, put her leash on and rewarded her back at the x-pen. I knew she was blowing off steam and frustration because she was overwhelmed, and I knew she was stressed out after relieving that pressure because she really does try to be a Good Dog and five years of team work has told her that I don't particularly care for it when she races about and ignores me.
Molly was still very amped up back at the x-pen. I could not leave her without her screaming. I decided to take her and Perri for a walk through the woods across the street - there was a nature preserve with some geocaches so I decided to walk out to one of them. I thought that if Molly had some decompression time in the woods to sniff it would help her.
When we returned, Elite Regular was just starting. I wanted to help out with ring crew but Molly was still screaming if I left the crating area. I felt frustration of my own start to creep in, because I was trying my best and using all of the tools that Molly has taught me and I was still failing. I sat down in my chair and just waited. Molly settled down, fell asleep next to her fan, and I was able to walk away and work the Open class when it came time. That was that. And that was the end of it for the day. She just needed me to sit there and be calm with her for a few minutes and let everything get caught up.
When it was our turn for Regular I picked a spot in the shade under an EZ Up and worked hard with tricks and praise to keep Molly's focus, which she was now offering quite happily. She held a start line stay. I did a lead out pivot and I was late with it so she ran around the Aframe I wanted her on and went into a wrong course tunnel instead. I just wrapped her up onto the Frame and went about our business. She got stuck with the ring crew, another classic displacement behavior of her's. That was another timeline moment for us, it used to be an enormous problem! I got her to re-engage and take the next four obstacles and then, she had to take a jump and turn onto the dog walk. She took the jump and started towards the ring crew in the chair on that side of the ring. And then, the most beautiful thing, without my calling her I saw her change direction mid stride and come up that dog walk with me instead. I was so proud of her and grateful to her. (Sometimes the human needs the dog to show them "Hey, you have helped me get somewhere after all these years! And now that my brain can think a bit straighter, I can use what we learned together!)
After the dog walk was jump to weaves, and she ran past them. I had to think in a split second what to do, what was the right decision? Let her run past them and end on a good note? Or ask her to do her most stressful obstacle, after we had just enjoyed a nice success. We had already NQd so there was no pressure from that. I chose to ask her to do her weaves. I stayed up straight, called her into me, let my body language stay loose and playful as I do with Perri. I asked her "do you see it?" as we learned in our online weave class. We just had a little conversation together. She did see them. She ran right at them and hopped through them fast and happy! It was a risky choice but it turned out well and I am grateful for that, too!
The rest of the day evened out into what I am used to from Molly. We came through on the other side. We had a long break because I did not entered Touch N Go and I certainly did not enter Weavers. A friend dropped by and we chatted most of that time away, I ate lunch, and then it was time for Tunnelers! There were zero issues here with engagement and direction following, Molly was thrilled with Tunnelers and we qualified at 5.87YPS and I believe the second fastest dog of all levels. She unfortunately ripped one end of a tunnel right out of the sand bags and that had to be fixed. Proud moment! (I'm sure it took a preliminary beating from some of the Elite dogs.)
Jumpers was last and Molly was as calm as could be while still moving at a nice speed for another Q. How "boring" are the nice runs, no big long winded paragraphs for me to discuss!
Oh my Molly. You are not done making me work hard, I guess! The fire still burns bright inside of this girl! Next weekend we will return to one of our regular trial sites and perhaps Molly will be back to Miss Consistent....for a little while.
I had a difficult day with Molly's weave poles at the trial yesterday. She missed her entry in JWW and stressed down and could not even complete the weaves. In Standard she popped out towards the middle of the poles and we did several re-attempts, none of them successful. I entered her in the training match at the end of the trial. My intention was to excite her over the toy and let her have a positive experience. Instead, she kept popping out to get her toy because I was trying to motivate her with it and was pulling her out. In the end it felt like 70 seconds of drilling weave poles into my hot tired dog, and I am so ashamed of myself it very nearly burns. I just want to utilize my time well and I can't seem to make Good Choices. We did end on a successful rep of all 12 poles with a major party with the furry tug toy, so...that was good.
I have been mentally grilling myself: Why does my dog fall apart at trials with her weave poles?
To answer that I have to ask another question: Does Molly understand weave poles?
This is a hard question to be honest about. But I truly feel that the answer is yes. When Molly and myself are completely relaxed, she can get the "crazy" entries. She is confident and fast and stays in the poles. She is enjoying herself. We work at home or at the park on layering, on weaving no matter what, no matter where, no matter my position. We work hard. It breaks my heart how hard we work and yet we cannot seem to get our act together. I asked my agility instructor one time if she feels that Molly understands weave poles. She paused for a moment and considered, and said that she can see that Molly understands her job. My instructor is very experienced and is also honest with me, and I trust her very very much. I was terrified to even ask that question of her. But the answer is yes. Molly really does have incredible weave poles and is capable of really enjoying herself while performing them. I know this.
I also considered other obstacles that Molly has faulted consistently. The A-frame and the Dog Walk. The weave poles remain as an obstacle that we continue to fault and make no progress on at trials.
With the A-frame, my stress behavior was to blame. What did my stress behavior look like?
"Whoah'ing" Molly, stopping dead beside the A-frame, pointing at the down ramp, turning towards Molly.
I wrote posts on this blog in the past about how difficult it was for me to cease those behaviors. It was very, very, very hard for me. But I did it. I remember Molly's A-frame flyoffs jumped back up again on the weekend we were trying to earn our C-ATCH. Major handler stress, as much as I tried to mask it. After we earned that title, the fly offs dropped off again nearly completely. She has not faulted the A-frame in about a month and a half, and the last time that she did so was because I was behind her. Molly still "freaks out" if I am behind her because I think she still reads that as me putting the brakes on and it stresses her out.
With the Dog Walk, my stress behavior was to blame as well as Molly not being clear on the behavior that I wanted. What did my stress behavior look like?
"Whoah'ing Molly", talking to her the whole length of the dog walk ("You're a good girl, do you want a treat?, etc etc. Super heavy verbal management until she could not deal with it anymore and jumped off the end.), turning into her.
The other piece of the puzzle here was that at class, I would stop running at the end of the dog walk, and Molly would stop and get her treat. This did not translate to a trial environment. I began to wonder "If I taught Molly a new cue-word for a stopped contact..." And I did.
Once again, forcing myself to remain silent and not turn into Molly while she is running the dog walk nearly eliminated the issue. Now when Molly is on the dog walk I wait until she is halfway through the top plank and say "Spot!" cheerfully, one time. When she starts the descent I say Spot one more time. She understands, I am not stressing her out any longer... I'm having a hard time even remembering the last time that Molly faulted the dog walk.
With the Weave Poles....
I am looking hard at what my stress behaviors look like when Molly is in the weave poles. I already know that I "micromanage", I clap and talk too much. I use to "Whoah!" Molly before she made her entrance. That history as well as some major stress over not understanding the obstacle for a full year and a half of competition is what we are up against. We both continue to exhibit a sort of PTSD at trials over the weave poles.
My stress behaviors: I have calmed down the ridiculous behavior in halting Molly into getting her entries. I have tried so hard to not talk to her in the poles, and to not clap. It seems that my body does these things no matter how hard I try to stop. I noticed on my video of JWW yesterday how I am turning my shoulders into Molly.
It has to stop! It all has to stop. I completely lack confidence and it shows. I absolutely despise weave poles and if they were eradicated from agility today, I would not miss them one little bit. That's a hard mental process for me to beat! I also feel like a complete failure on a consistent basis. I must be a horrible dog trainer if I cannot get either Molly or Perri to weave at trials. (Perri was wonderful until her shoulder injury. While her confidence is being rebuilt at trials, it is stressing me out.) I was so pleased two weeks ago with myself for looking ahead, not chattering...and sure enough Molly perked up and bounced through the poles in response.
The funny thing, or maybe not so funny, is that I wrote a post about this exact subject in January. About trusting Molly in the poles, about not crowding her, about letting her work and trusting her. And I cannot seem to do it. So neither can she. It seems that controlling my own stressed out handling is far more difficult for me with regard to the weave poles than it ever was for the dog walk and A-frame. That is probably because success came much quicker with the contact obstacles than it has for the weave poles.
Tomorrow I will be a student of handler behavior when dogs are weaving. I always watch the dogs weave, never the handler. I want to study people and find the stress behaviors, and will likely recognize those things in myself. And try stop doing them. It will be a process. Something that I have been doing without regularity is that during my walkthrough, I imagine how I will behave when my dog is in the weave poles. This needs to happen on every walk through. I concentrated on doing this on that Standard run two weeks ago that I was so proud of myself for "behaving" during the weave poles. It needs to sink into my head.
Oh, how easy this must be for some people. Perhaps one day I will look back on myself and laugh. I sure hope so. Heeling and weave poles - look ahead. Be confident. Trust your dog. Why is this so difficult for me?
I wrote this To Molly on her birthday post in June, "Thank you Molly for making me think, making me learn, for forgiving my mistakes, for forcing me to be better, for forcing me to be smarter. For forcing me to be what you deserve."
And I still mean it. Every word. I am humbled by dogs, how they give a hundred thousand second chances to humans. I am humbled by my girl, who has given me so many second chances. I know she will help me become the weave-handler that she deserves.
Perri and I went to the library for therapy dog detail tonight and followed that up with a short trip down the highway to Tractor Supply Co. It was either that or Petco and I thought that TSC on a foggy weeknight would be a little more low key. I didn't expect the "peeps" for sale and Perri would probably have given a toe for three minutes inside of that little baby chicken enclosure. Meek and sensitive she is, but forever a chicken killer.
I didn't have any expectations and I kept it simple. We hung around the store and I gave Perri soft praise and a charlee bear if she looked at me. I figured out in about three cookies that a cookie throw along the floor was a lot more rewarding to her than just being given a treat. Perri was interested in the peeps and she was worried about the store. I filled my pocket with about 25 cookies and we stayed in the store until they were gone and then left. It didn't take long. There is no reason I can't work this into our weekly routine, here and there.
Perri relaxed into our little game and I did start to get more offered attention, but she was definitely highly absorbed in the environment, for multiple reasons. I will be very interested to see how we move along through this. I am surprised by how much I enjoy this. Just studying my dog and watching her. I was watching Perri tonight and thinking, "Look at her. How on earth can I expect her to enjoy working with me when she is this overwhelmed?"
But it can improve. And it will. I'm in no hurry and I am looking forwards to future sessions. Perri does enjoy working with me, I know that. It's time to help her relax into that.
I did this with Molly last night at Petsmart and she progressed far quicker than Perri. I brand Molly as my resident "Bad Girl", but it does make sense. Molly is very food motivated, we have a longer standing relationship than Perri and I, and Molly is far less worried about everything. She once smashed headlong into a trash can at an agility trial because she was too busy staring at the piece of cheese I was carrying. This is not to say that Molly was glued to me the whole time at the store, but she definitely relaxed into what paid off much quicker. One very cool moment was halfway through my pocket of cookies, Molly went to sniff a dog food bag (her favorite thing to do ever at the pet store.) but whipped her head back to me. We even did a little bit of work and Molly was happy to play along.
