perri amitriptyline 3.5 weeks

Perri tapered off of the fluoxetine.

Perri lived for one week without her SSRI (selective serotonin reuptake inhibitor) medication.

And then we started at a half dose of her new medication, Amitriptyline a TCA (tricyclic antidepressant)

And then we went to a whole dose.

ya'll.

Living with Perri with no medication on board is not ever happening again. The behaviors that were creeping back in on the low dose of fluoxetine came roaring with a vengeance. Hypervigilance at night in the yard so intense she often would not pee. Leaking urine in my bed at night. (I believe Perri has very mild spay incontinence and her anxiety issues of over-drinking and being too preoccupied to pee stress the issue.) Hypervigilance in the morning, often prompting her to hold her urine until I returned home from work in the evening - nearly 24 hours. (Perri leaks urine while she sleeps but is steadfastly housebroken when she is awake.) Irrational and beyond annoying alert barking at every. thing. This felt worse than it has ever been, so annoying and repetitive that she was becoming agonizing to live with. And her fearful reactive behavior towards other dogs worsened. I had to commit to intensifying my management of Perri around other dogs. 

My poor, poor girl. 

Suddenly in the middle of last week it was like a light switch flipped in Perri's brain. More at ease going potty at those difficult bed time and morningtime potty breaks. The alert barking has abruptly dwindled down to nearly nothing. She has not leaked urine in her sleep in nearly a week. And this past weekend when we were at a trial Perri did not explode at any dogs. I am managing her much more heavily than I had been. But I did notice that while Perri was concerned and keeping an eye on one particular fast moving dog playing trick games with its owner, she did not intensify past that point. That is something.

And to a lesser extent, she seems almost more playful. I should not say "less", since lack of playfulness and dullness was the sole reason I discontinued fluoxetine with Perri. It is very important to me. I don't know if it is the puppy's influence but Perri seems more loosened up, more silly. The other day she drug Molly's big heavy rope toy out, something she has never done before in her entire life. She simply seems lighter, I don't know how else to say it. This is a change in the last few days, despite the puppy being with us since the end of June so. I do not think it is all Zorro related.

Everything I write has been improvements seen in about the last half of a week. I feel really happy and excited for the future but I am also nervous. I hope that things continue in this direction for Perri. There is also the matter of doubling her dose as our behaviorist mentioned (which is likely the proper full dose for a dog of Perri's size and weight). I am willing to try that but I do feel nervous it will dampen her energy and spirits. It is nice to see how well she is responding on the current dose she is on, so I will feel comfortable returning to that dose if she does not respond well to the doubled dose. 

Perri medication change

While we sure did give fluoxetine it's fair shake, I ultimately decided to discontinue the medication with Perri. Perri had a lot of good results on fluoxetine, though I would not say she ever totally overcame her hypervigilance issues on the drug. Her stress drinking stopped, her fear reactivity towards other dogs diminished and her hypervigilance did decrease. However, the drug made Perri rather dull and she lost her playfulness almost completely. That was upsetting to me and so we made the decision to half her dose.

Initially the half dose was promising. Perri's playful personality seemed to return while she maintained the positive effects of fluoxetine. In time however, the 10mg dose seemed to be doing absolutely nothing for Perri. We were back to some mornings refusing to pee because she needed to stare aimlessly into space, increased explosive fear reactivity episodes towards other dogs, irritating alert barking and even a few episodes of bed wetting (this is due to stress drinking at night to the point where her bladder is so full it cannot hold anymore and she leaks.) At working dose, I could not tolerate the personality change. At half dose, it was not helping her.

Instead of taking Perri in to her behaviorist for a visit, we did a phone consult. Perri had just been in for a visit and bloodwork check (all normal values!), at at that time we decided to half the fluoxetine. This time we discussed some different options. We could try a different medication in the SSRI family (which is what fluoxetine is, an SSRI.) We could keep her on the 10mg dose of fluoxetine and try a medication form a different class. Or we could try a medication from a different drug class. In our case we chose to try amitriptyline, a "TCA" tricyclic antidepressant.

The plan was one week of every other day fluoxetine. Then one week of nothing. Then start the amitriptyline at half of a 25 mg pill twice daily. Then increase to 25 mg after 5 days. She would like us to try 50mg twice a day but given how sensitive Perri is, we are not sure how she will tolerate that. We may add the 10mg dose of fluoxetine back in at a later date. I wanted to take her off of fluoxetine entirely so that I could observe the effect of amitriptyline alone first without wondering which drug was helping which behavior.

Time will tell!

Perri's Weekend, Lots of HOPE

I have made a ton of changes for Perri lately and the positive progress that was trickling in this year has begun to flow.

At the beginning of this year I wrote this post about our progress with fluoxetine. I was feeling lukewarm about the flatness I would see in Perri, but when I added salmon oil to her diet I noticed more energy. This was indeed a temporary and probably coincidental change. Perri continued to be flat, slow to rouse into play and exhausted far more easily than she used to be by most any activity. About three weeks ago, I told our behaviorist that I would like to wean Perri off of the fluoxetine and possibly try something else. Our instructions were to wean down to 10mg and keep Perri on that dose until our appointment to see how she does on that dose. We returned to 10mg on April 16th. 

Last weekend I had Perri adjusted by her chiropractor. Jaw out and some cervical misalignments. We visited because I wanted to discuss the spasming that I often see in Perri's lower back, check for any adjustments that needed to be done and find out if I can be doing anything more to help Perri's spine feel more comfortable. Of course, all of the adjustments were needed "up higher"! In addition to the active stretches I had been already doing, we were given a few more. I also purchased a Back on Track mesh blanket for Perri. I have heard very good things about these jackets and I feel that Perri can benefit.

So, a lot of good thoughtful changes for Perri. I am also pursuing retesting Perri's thyroid levels, as she tested a "low normal" in December of last year. I have added a probiotic to Perri's diet, the same type that I use for Molly. A happy gut is a happy dog.

And Perri is a happy dog. I started to notice increased silliness within less of a week of decreasing the fluoxetine. Just little things. Flinging a toy up in the air and doing a ridiculous spin for one of Vince's workers. Actual interest and demand in play time with her standard poodle friend Zoe. And just in the last week, we had one of Perri's famous pounce zoom fests in the back yard, it has been a while. Last Monday in agility class Perri turned it on like I have not seen from her in a long time. She did both of her "turns" with really nice motivation, desire for her ball and actual fast and intense weave poles (with a pop at the 10th weave and a restart where she went even faster after being asked to do them a second time rather than crumbling mentally.)

Yesterday I volunteered with a friend of mine who was holding a lure coursing ring to raise money for a rescue at a large dog event held in my area. I felt apprehensive about letting Perri course. I was really struggling with making the Right Decision. On one hand, Molly has gone lame coursing three times now and I knew that Perri had an agility run the day after at a trial. I am trying so very hard to narrow down the activities I do with my dogs and be more focused. But on the other hand, I love how Perri opens up, de-stresses and gives in to raw prey drive in coursing. In the end I made the decision to let Perri run the course two times, once at the beginning of the day and the next time four long hours later at the end of the event. (It was very popular, we had a line 10-15 dogs deep the entire day!) She was full on BagBrain and each time she ran, Zoe poodle got to run with her (and Zoe did a great job following Perri and/or the bag the entire time, she did not leave or get distracted by anything. A great start!)

I was very nervous that Perri would be too tired for her agility run today. We have had a really really nice week since that beautiful agility class on Monday. On the prior dose of fluoxetine, Perri would typically be wiped out and it would be a big ??? how an agility trial would go the next day. It doesn't help that it was naughty of me to enter today's trial in the first place. It was for pure social reasons that I entered, my friend was going to be there and the original plan was to enter Molly but then that bonehead went and ripped her toenail off at the lake a few weeks ago so....hey I do have another dog, right?! So, I entered Snooker with Perri.

But Perri was....great! The Snooker course was laid out so that in order to get the best flow I ran to the back of the ring with her to use our first red, rather than starting on a "red" on the start line. On our way out there she got distracted by a male ring crew but did call off of him fairly quickly. We ran our course and there were some angles that I was fretting I would lose her on, as well as a jump wrap but she really ran her little heart out and was fast and happy! I was so proud of her and it felt awesome. We started the close and it was a diagonal line from 2-the first jump of 5. 5 was a 180 jump combo. Well I lost Perri to visiting a ring crew who also is a friend of ours, how could Perri not say "hi"? I was going over in my mind if I should be trying to recollect Perri back around the jump to try to earn enough points, or just ignore it and run out the finish and forget #5 but I ended up trying to get her and reset her. It turned out to be a not horrible choice, although I am aware it was not the ideal choice. I can't quite remember what happened but I know that Perri was like "Haha you're weird I'll just take the jump!" and then we had a merry happy little race to the exit and she was mighty proud of herself and quite happy and that is what matters! On reflection, I'm really proud of her for not freezing up when I confused her by trying to bring her back to the correct side of the jump, and just making a decision instead.  She was not sure what I wanted, but there was a jump in front of her so she took it! I am okay with that. Very unlike her and very confident! I did notice that Perri was very bothered by us getting to the leash chair at the end. I need to work on a more positive association with ending the run and getting equipment put back on her.

After Perri's run I let her sit in my lap for a while. Perri had a very good day of behavior fear reactivity-wise as well. Something to discuss with our behaviorist. Perri saw a very drivey doberman yanking on a tug toy walk across the crating area, she had eyes on a german shepherd trotting briskly along but she actually LAT'd to me and then a bearded shepherd was crated next to us and warming up for a run. Perri noticed it but reoriented to me quietly. And I was paying big for all of this with bits of dehydrated lamb lung. And I am proud of myself because I interrupted a conversation with a friend to say that Perri had been very successful and I thought she should go out to the car before something pushed her too far and she had an explosion at a dog.
I am very excited about Perri's self assurance around three situations that would have triggered fear reactivity behavior in her. I have no doubt she was still concerned about all three dogs, but she trusted me today and did not feel the need to freak out and warn those dogs away from her.

Go. Team!

I am so optimistic and so terrified it will all fall apart again. That's our journey, I am learning to embrace it and not resent it. It's easy to say that now when we are progressing in the right direction!

Perri Medication (Fluoxetine 4.5 months.)

After four months on Fluoxetine it was time to ask our behaviorist for a refill, but it was also a good time to think about the improvements or lake thereof in Perri's life.

Improvements

• No more bed wetting. This is a huge deal.
• No more issues with pottying and hypervigilance in the morning. (Other factors: her bladder is not emptying overnight so she has more urgency and reason to pee in the morning. We fenced our back yard within a month of Perri starting the medication so our yard must surely feel more "enclosed" and "safe".)
• Hypervigilance away from home has decreased, with Perri able to reorient to me on her own more readily than she used to be able to. 

Areas of No Improvement

• Reactive behavior towards other dogs on walks and at trials is about the same. She spots these dogs from far away before they could ever possibly be a threat, and intensifies if they get close to us. However, I could be managing her a lot better in this area at trials. On walks I do a good job.
• Fear of objects-that-make-sounds continues. As an example, just two nights ago she refused to spend time in our family room with us since we set up a metal folding table that contained New Years Eve treats. No doubt the assembly of the table was observed by her and diagnosed as a "death threat".

Not so Great Stuff 

• Perri is more "flat" or "dull" than she used to be. I truly feel this is related to the Fluoxetine. I do not like it. She seems more spaced out than ever. (As I mentioned, I even had a thyroid level test run on her because of this behavior.)
• Appetite is decreased still. I have to put a dehydrated topper on Perri's food or she simply will not eat. She could not care less about her evening Kong treat and will often not even want to get up off the couch for it. She used to be wild for her Kong treat. 

I wrote this post a few weeks ago, with the intent to complete it when our behaviorist and I made the decision on which medication we would switch to. But now, whether by coincidence or a small dietary change I made for Perri, everything has changed.

About a week ago, in the interest of helping Ein and Molly's arthritic issues, I decided to add salmon oil to the dogs' diets. And I had the thought that maybe I could use it to mix into Perri's food as well, instead of the dehydrated Spot Farms or Honest Kitchen. We started it last Tuesday and discontinued using the Spot Farms mix-in. Perri is like a different dog. She is "bright" again, I don't know how else to say it. She has been eating 100 percent of her meals. She wants her Kong every night and is back to her norm of sprinting around like a maniac when Vince announces Kong time. The post I made about tugging was made after this new change. She has been having pouncing zooms out in the yard again, she is teasing Molly like she used to, and she is enjoying a lot of solo play with toys as well (whereas before if she would play with a toy, it was to nibble pieces off of it.) A playful Perri is the norm now, not the exception.

I feel like I have my dog back, along with all of the benefits from the fluoxetine.

I hope hope hope this is not just temporary. 

Perri Medication Weeks 4-6

As of tonight Perri has been on fluoxetine for 6 weeks.   Tomorrow begins her 7th week.

The lethargy I saw in Perri towards the end of the third week, a few days after the as-instructed dose increase, has stayed away for the most part.   We certainly did not experience any "sleeping in" and not wanting to be involved in car trips or adventures.   Perri does sleep much more soundly through the night now and even goes into deep enough sleep for "sleep talking".   I give Perri her medication in the evening.   I do not feel that Perri has any issue waking up in the morning, or that her energy levels are affected at all. 

Perri's appetite suffered starting towards the end of the fourth week.   I had recently switched to a new kibble and thought that was to blame.  (American Journey Salmon and Rice - switched at the beginning of Perri's fourth week.)   Initially it was just skipping the morning meal.   Over the past week (Week 6) it has worsened to the point where Perri will not even come in the kitchen in the morning for her food, and at night she comes into the kitchen and might eat half of her dinner after much coercion from Vince.   Perri's anorexia is nothing new, it has been an issue her entire life but rarely would she go over 24 hours without at least eating a whole bowl of kibble.   One night last week Vince looked at Perri and remarked he could see a visible weight loss.   And Perri does not have much to lose, her bones have always been so palpable it almost disgusts me.   I was ecstatic to find she was over 40 pounds at her behaviorist visit. (She had been eating rather well at that time - for Perri - we were trying Purina Pro Plan Focus Sensitive Stomach/Skin. mostly to try to help an issue Ein was having with obsessive elbow licking and mutilating the skin there as well as some skin redness ands pots throughout his body.   Without success.)

However, starting this past weekend, Perri refused to eat anything at all.    Perri went over 48 hours without eating anything except the treats she was given at the agility trial on Saturday.   Now, I will say that right around the time Perri's appetite started going into decline (worse than normal), I started to feed Ein Honest Kitchen Force formula.   I am very happy with this food, and will likely review it at a later time.   I did notice Perri eyeing the bowl and looking at her own bowl of kibble in....disappointment?   In desperation I dumped a quarter cup of HK into Perri's food this Monday morning, rehydrated it and mixed it all together and Presto! problem solved.   3 meals later Perri was in the kitchen in the morning eagerly anticipating her meal and has been that way ever since.

So.   Who can say if the anorexia was caused by the fluoxetine or by Perri's general pickiness and being put off of her kibble by a clearly better option present in the kitchen at meal time.

Positive Changes

Despite water being available all night long, Perri has not had a single bed wetting episode since starting the fluoxetine.   I am happy to say that the three reusable doggie diapers that I bought are collecting dust.

Alert barking has decreased, but certainly not disappeared.   I would be curious at how much less alert barking Perri would do if not for Ein's influence (who is alert barking more than ever.   old dog rules.)

Reactive fear barking at other dogs is still happening, but I have noticed a few moments here and there where I braced myself for an explosion and it did not happen.   Most notably at a husky we crossed paths with on a walking trail, with blue eyes and staring and the whole package.   Perri just walked on by.    She did explode at the next dog we passed.   So, it is just here and there.   Nothing to grab onto and say, "This has changed." but little moments in time where Perri simply does not act as she used to.

Scanning behavior is decreasing, I think.  Whether that is accurate or optimistic or coincidence, I think it is hard to tell.    Obviously we had a better day at our agility trial on Saturday than we had in a long time, I can't ignore that the fluoxetine likely had a hand in that.   I noticed that on approaches to the building, Perri seemed less "lost" in scanning and more responsive to reorienting to me.   That is not to say we don't still have scanning behavior, I remember a specific incident just this Sunday on a geocache stop.    We were at a very quiet park but there was a man across the street practicing his golf shots.   Perri did some scanning but became transfixed by this man, almost a trance.    She did not even remember that I was there until I sneezed by accident.    There again: a swinging object presenting to her an "enormous threat".    In any case, just as I mentioned with the fear reactivity, I am seeing moments sprinkled into our lives where Perri is able to reorient to me quickly and I do expect those moments to continue to increase.

As of today, I feel very positive heading into our 7th week and excited for more continued positive change and peace in Perri's life.

Perri Medication Weeks 1-3

Perri just completed week 3 of fluoxetine.   For two weeks Perri was on 10mg per day and starting last Wednesday for the start of our third week I was to increase to 20mg.

We saw our first side effects with the dose increase.   For about two days there was nothing.   But Saturday and Sunday morning Perri was experiencing "lethargy".   Instead of being eager to come along to Molly's agility trial as she always is, always eager to come for car rides anywhere, Perri just went back upstairs and hopped into bed and went back to sleep.   That is very abnormal for Perri and it made me feel very sad.   I did call up to her "Coming along?" and she did end up coming downstairs and joining me for both days of the trial, but normally there is no need to ask.   Perri is usually attached to my body when she sees me doing "agility trial" or "hiking" things.   I have never seen her go back to bed like that so I feel she was experiencing lethargy in reaction to the dose increase.  She seemed flat to me both days this weekend.

Monday night I took Perri to agility class.   It was her first time playing agility with me in nearly two months.   She was flat and uninspired, losing engagement and confidence halfway through our first run together.   For our second run I could not get her off of the start line.   It was humid.   She was experiencing medication side effects.   For me it really broke my heart and made me feel that Perri would never return to agility with me. 

Starting this morning though it seemed like it all went away, I don't know how else to describe it.   It was like a spark came back into her!   She was very pushy trying to be included in the car ride to Molly's chiropractor visit (and unfortunately I had to leave her at home since it was too hot to leave her in the car.)   I am very hopeful that the flatness and lethargy were indeed a transient symptom due to the dose increase and that I can look forwards to Perri feeling more up to her normal energy level. 

Finishing the third week, it is likely too soon to say if any relief of anxiety effects are taking place yet.   I will say that I have been leaving Perri's water down at night, but she has not been drinking obsessively and she has not had a bed wetting episode.   This could be habitual since I was taking Perri's water away, perhaps she has not even checked that she could have any water.   Or it could be coincidence.    Time will tell.   I have also noticed that Perri has not been engaging in her explosive alert barking at night.   Oftentimes Perri will explode into barking when Vince comes upstairs to bed, or when Molly comes into the bedroom.   She has been steadily sleeping or just waking up and noticing Vince or Molly rather than escalating into barking.   Those are the changes I am seeing so far.   We will see what the next few weeks bring.

Weekend Interrupted

This weekend's plans were looking fun: USDAA on Saturday, mine and Molly's very first time in P3.   Sunday was to be barn hunt training in preparation for our October trial.  

But Wednesday night Molly started bothering me to go outside.   She ran out in the pouring ran and started eating grass, eating grass.   I got frustrated with her and went out in the rain, took her collar and marched her back under the porch to come inside....she ran away from me and threw up her entire dinner, and then retched some more.   A few hours later she seemed to feel better, so we gave her her evening Kong.   Molly can be a "pukey" dog but if she has an appetite we generally just carry on as normal with her.   One AM she threw up everything that she ate from the Kong, she threw up more outside.   Thursday morning it was clear she did not feel well, and I decided to withhold food.   I tried to give her a Pepcid but she refused to eat the small amount of cheese that I had hidden it in.   In hindsight I wish I had forced her to eat it.

I came home to a liquid diarrhea mess and several more piles of vomit throughout the house.   I convinced Molly to eat a small bit of plain turkey but she soon refused anymore than about two bites.   She absolutely refused to eat pills wrapped in turkey so I had to shove them down.   Very unusual, the only time Molly lost her appetite was years ago when I was a zombie due to strep throat and left her bag of kibble sitting on the floor and went to sleep for about 14 hours straight.   She ripped the bag open and buffeted Molly style - and so that evening when I gave her dinner, she didn't want to eat it.   Because she was packed solid with food already!  I panicked then because Molly never ever refuses food...but when I found the dog food bag all was clear.    But I digress.

Anyway.  Molly never refuses food.   We have had two intractable diarrhea episodes this year (brought on by my own overindulgence and resolved with Flagyl) and most recently, one strange episode of vomiting and nausea that she bounced back from in less than 24 hours with fasting and Pepcid.   This most recent episode was unusual and fast becoming scary.   It got much worse through the evening.   It was a beautiful day outside but I couldn't do much but sit at home and watch Molly and worry.   She did not vomit or have anymore diarrhea, but she was so uncomfortable.   She had episodes of shuddering, of panting.   She would get up and just stand there staring off into space, she would stretch in downward dog or the reverse way.   She would ask to go outside but then just stand in the yard like she had no idea where or who she was.   It worsened and worsened through the night and every time she would lay down and relax or drift off and I thought the medicine I forced down her throat was finally helping her feel better, she was up again and stretching and uncomfortable.   She lay down for a long while but at 1AM she got back up and stretched downward dog and just stood there, frozen.   She was shaking.   I knew at 6am I had to go to work.   I knew that if she was in this state at that time I would be a complete wreck if I had to leave her home all day feeling this way, and possibly (and likely) worsening.    So we went to the emergency vet.

I called ahead.   Always do that when going to the emergency vet.   You can get a lot of the formalities and paperwork out of the way, and the staff know what's coming.   There was nothing crazy going on with Molly.   Gastroenteritis.  Subcutaneous fluids (I do love SubQ fluids, feeling that big cold hump below the skin and petting it - weirdo.) and an anti nausea injection.   We were sent home with more Flagyl, orders to continue the Pepcid/Flagyl combo that I had started Molly on.   Molly walked out the door with more of her usual peppy swagger than we came in with.   I got about two hours of sleep before work.   Molly was not good in the morning.   I was told to fast her, but I thought for sure with the fluids and injection she would happily eat her medicine in a Pill Pocket.   No.   And then she even refused butter.    I again had to force the pills down.  Really scary for me, because I knew it meant she was feeling very bad.   When I left her she was laying on my living room floor, so uncomfortable she did not even want to be on the couch.   She was just laying there looking miserable and confused.  

When I got home from work the difference was like night and day.   I got the plain turkey out of the fridge and offered it to her and she sharked it right up!   Gave her a little more.   She ate it all and then went and slept for a few hours.   Still very wiped out but with the return of the appetite I was feeling great!    She took her pills with no issue hidden in her "bland diet" food.   She ate her whole Kong (stuffed with more plain food.)   She then stole Perri's food while I was shooing away a door to door salesman!   Yep, she's back!  

I obviously still scratched our runs from the USDAA trial.   Since the trial was very close to me, I went anyway to cheer on our friends.   Our friend Sly the border collie had a really nice day and got his long sought after last Standard Q needed for his Performance Dog title.  (as well as his P1 Gambler and P1 Standard title).   Much celebrating!  

I kept Perri in the car all day and did some work on simply approaching the trial building.   I did what I used to do with Molly when we would be in a trial that she would shoot over threshold if we went into the building too quickly.   I got Perri out of the car and stood a few feet from the car.   And I waited for her to orient to me.   Praise and food when she did.   I observed Perri having a very difficult time even as soon as she got out of the car.   Hypervigilance and a long delay in being able to orient to me.   This is a big deal and something that Perri and I need to work through.   How can I expect Perri to be confident and focus in the ring otherwise?   We did this probably three or four times throughout the day.   Often I rewarded Perri with retreat from the trial building as well as food.   No real improvement today, just a lot of information for me.  

One time Perri was particularly lost in scanning and our friend Donna came out of the trial building, Perri saw her from far away and became over joyed and wanted to dash towards Donna.   I love this, because in a moment when Perri was lost and overwhelmed by the environment, the "environment" produced a much loved friend.   It is a bit like how I take her into the building and get people to pet her, but in this case, Perri was stationary and allowed to take things in on her own rather than having me manipulating what happened.   I did not plan for Donna to walk into Perri's line of vision, it just happened - and I think it was a very good thing.  

More work like this.   I am hopeful for the fluoxetine on board, that when it really begins to take effect and hopefully help Perri, that it can aide her comfort level and ownership of her environment.  

After the trial I took Perri on a nice hour long walk at a nearby and favorite lake park.   Not the way I expected our weekend to go, but all worked out well in the end.

Perri Starts Medication Week One

Way back in March, when it became evident to me that Perri and I were experiencing a progress backslide in a big way, I mentioned that I felt it was time to try some medication to help with her anxiety.   And that I would likely avoid it for some time more.

And I did.   I started Perri on an over the counter supplement called Composure and experienced some moderate reduction in Perri's stress behaviors.   Her refluxing decreased and her explosive reactions towards other dogs diminished (did not disappear.) and I felt we were able to make some training progress on that front.   Very encouraging, until we stalled.   Agility continued to be an up and down, upsetting battle for us until a month ago when I finally decided that both of us had had quite enough.

But other areas of Perri's life were not improving, they were getting worse.   Perri's stress drinking had escalated to the point where she was drinking so much that she was leaking urine in her sleep at night - I even had to buy diapers for her.   This makes me feel very embarrassed.   Even if I would let Perri out just before bed, she would either have drank so much that she could not empty her entire bladder, or she would drink after I had gone to sleep.   I had to get strict about pulling up all water bowls at 8pm.   This caused an issue in the morning before work though.   On occasion, Perri will have episodes of paralysis in our own yard where she is too busy staring and scanning the area to focus on peeing.   There are times when Perri will be so caught up in this behavior that she will out right refuse to pee and will "hold it" until I get home from work.   That's about 17 hours or more.   When I started to take up the water at 8pm, I feel I took a coping mechanism (her drinking) from her, and it increased the scanning in the yard as a result.   Not only did she not have to pee badly from all of her obsessive drinking, but she was not able to relieve her anxiety with her drinking coping mechanism.   There was a specific morning a few weeks ago that I watched her scanning the yard, totally lost in her world and refusing to pee for me.   I was so frustrated with her I could scream.   I took her out three separate times that morning and she could not come "back to earth" to pee.   I was late for work.    I have been late to work because of this behavior in the past.

This was my breaking point.   My dog needed help.   I have worked so hard with her all these years and she has worked really hard too.   We have come so far together.   And this year has made me feel like a complete failure to her.   All of our progress seemed plateaued.   I was and still am devastated, but my human emotions are no help to Perri.   She needs help.

I scheduled an appointment with a highly recommended veterinary behaviorist  and over two weeks reassured myself that this was the right decision.   It has been a grey area for me.   My dog is not crippled by her anxiety.   Separation anxiety used to be a problem for her first year with us but she responded so well to training, became comfortable in her environment and bonded with us and our other dogs.   Crate anxiety seemed to be linked in with the SA but we were also able to resolve that with training.   I know that we are so very fortunate for these accomplishments that Perri was able to achieve.   She never becomes a panting, shuddering mess.   She has never bitten anybody or another dog.   She does not pace and refuse to settle.

I was asked at our appointment many questions, but I was asked what I feel that Perri's biggest issue is.   I said that it is Perri's scanning environments, what I am told is called hypervigilance.   Perri is not frantic but she sort of stresses down into this stoic trance and just stares and turns her gaze over and over the environment, like she can't possibly come to terms with it being a safe place to be.  Stuck in her own personal hell.   It breaks my heart more than anything else because it makes me feel the most helpless.   Sure enough, she did this exact behavior in the exam room (despite it being a very cozy room with a couch for us to sit on and no tell tale metal exam table as a typical exam room would have.)

Other issues discussed: the fear reactivity episodes towards other dogs (the exploding and lunging), the obsessive drinking and nibbling (displacement behaviors), the extreme startle responses to any object she perceives as a threat (keys, brooms, the baton on agility, etc.), her intense aversion to harnesses and things being placed over her head and our lack of progress on this front.   The more I talked about life with Perri the more sad I felt for my strange funny little dog, trapped in her own personal hell.   Agility trials and what has been going on there was certainly discussed, but they are not my focus.   I see a very clear plan there for Perri and I, and I have already identified a lot that I can adjust about my own behavior and expectations.

Since I feel that mine and Perri's progress in training has stalled I was very open to the idea of medication.   We discussed various options and the positives/negatives of each, which I did find to be a bit overwhelming.   Big decisions.  We ultimately decided to start on Fluoxetine (Prozac).   This may not be the right medication for Perri but it is where we will start.   It can take some trial and error and patience to find the right medication for your dog, and I understand this and am open to it.  

I was told to expect some sleepiness and that GI side effects could be possible (diarrhea, vomiting, loss of appetite.)   We are about four days in at this point and I have seen no sleepiness but Perri has skipped a meal here and there or half a meal.   That is not unusual for Perri.    No reflux or GI upset.  We will not start to see effects of the medication until up to weeks 4-6, though many dogs respond sooner.   I am very glad that I chose to stop doing agility trials with Perri, it really takes the pressure off and allows us time to adjust to our new venture.   We will continue the Composure.

It was a little tough for me to decide to write this all out, knowing that while I may not exactly have many readers - this blog is public.  And this is a decision that I feel sensitive about.   It is not a decision I came to easily or made lightly.   It is recognizing that my dog's brain isn't functioning correctly and after five years of training and work, her brain needs help to work better.   I want Perri to feel safer in her world.  I intend to give her that help no matter what, because I sure have tried everything else to the best of my abilities (with great successes!)   And so, I have written all of this.   So that I have something to refer back to some day, and so that maybe if another person is where I am at - they can read what Perri and I have done.   I know I have read other people's stories online and they have helped me a lot.